evitae

Walking up on that stage May 16th to get that (cheap) piece of paper was a little something like riding a roller coaster, as I’d done only a week before at Six Flags Great Adventure in celebration of Senior Week. I fidgeted in my seat, twiddling my thumbs in anticipation as they called the Masters and Doctorate candidates ahead of us. Then, finally, after what felt like hours, my row was called to receive our degrees. So began my ascension.

Just standing up, I felt butterflies thrumming against my belly. It surprised me, actually, as I remember feeling profoundly apathetic in the wake of my high school graduation. Now I understand why. High school is child’s play. Everyone should be able to do that. College, on the other hand, however long it takes, remains a highly regarded achievement. It’s still taking me a while to fully feel the impact of that, but it’s there lying in wait, like those butterflies that remain long after the ride is over.

As each graduate shook the president’s hand and collected her degree, I grew closer and closer to the stage, the very pinnacle of my college career. When I finally took my own degree and descended down the ramp off the stage, I felt a surge of joy and displacement that is comparable to the adrenaline induced dazedness one might feel after a roller coaster ride. Did I really just do that? What just happened? What’s to come? My mind raced through all the memories I made there at college, good and bad, an amusement park all its own.

I left the graduation as I’d left the theme park, happy, but exhausted. I can now say with pride that I am officially a graduate of Bryn Mawr College! I certainly enjoyed my time there, for the most part, but that’s enough of roller coasters for now. Now I move on toward the ride back home. And what a ride its been thus far!

If someone had told me at the beginning of this year that within a week of graduation, I would have a guaranteed job offer of any kind, I would have been very skeptical and cleared my mind of such possibilities immediately, despite knowing there was a chance in the internship I’d had only the summer before. That possibility has proven fruitful, and I am now under a six week contract with the small web design firm in Brooklyn that I’d interned with. I started today, and there is potential that this opportunity may continue beyond that date.

I am so humbled and happy to have had this opportunity waiting for me. Now, I’m going to give it the best I’ve got. Hello “real” world. I’m ready. Are you?

One cloudy day after the other, flowers do not bloom, closed up for so long, ravaged by wind and rain. Even once clouds pass, flowers fail to blossom, Apollo’s fiery gaze as capable of destruction as of creation, so many fallen petals a testament to a slow death. What was once vibrant reduced at once to crinkled, pale tombstones, adornments for Gaia’s solemn brow.

Growing up, my parents always told me, “Don’t nothin’ come to a sleeper but a dream.” In other words, the early bird catches the worm. Tonight, I felt the sting of this truth to the fullest extent, yet again. On April 5th, Alicia Keys posted a position on Twitter for the Head Blogger of her new philanthropic effort, I Am A Superwoman.com, an offshoot of AK Worldwide. From that moment on, I kept daydreaming about what it might be like to fly to London with the other semi-candidates, ultimately earning the position. I pictured all the things I would say, of the battle to maintain professional composure before someone I truly admire, for her musical and vocal talents, her philanthropic endeavors, her beauty, her style, and her grace.

Of course, I was in the throes of my thesis, so I didn’t once dare to take the time aside to apply and make this blog more presentable. My focus was to finish the thesis, and to graduate. Now, a week after I handed in my thesis, I am sitting here kicking myself about where I went wrong, missing the deadline by 24 hours because of the way I interpreted the deadline as listed on the website which said to apply “By May 3rd.” Trouble is, it’s clear as day. For the umpteenth time, I failed myself with a lack of proper multitasking. It may have benefited me in this case insofar as I completed the thesis, but ultimately, it cost me a dream opportunity.

Still, I’m not about to let this ruin my other successes for me. Besides, what is a Superwoman without her weaknesses? Implicit in their search for a Head Blogger, is that they will be recruiting for other subordinate positions. And if I’m wrong, well, I am equally excited about a number of other positions that are out there, and this time, I will allow no distractions, academic or otherwise. This is my ray of sunlight, my lead armor. “Yes, I was burned, but I called it a lesson learned.” Thank you Alicia, for continuing to be an inspiration to me, and to countless others, across the globe. I am rooting for you and sincerely hope that you find the best woman (or man) for the job!