evitae.net

It’s that time of year again. My disposition hasn’t really changed since the last post. I’d rather not be home, but I’m faring well regardless, especially since I know I’ll be back on campus by the weekend. It’s not like things have been all that bad anyway. As long as I keep myself preoccupied with, say, completing the last of Super Mario Galaxy (only the Purple Comet Coin Stars left!) and/or revamping this site (which I haven’t really started yet), I should be fine.

Besides, odds are I might actually wind up being a little more miserable on campus seeing as to how hardly a soul is going to be around. Yup, it’s going to be days of sandwiches, soup, and microwavable goods for most of January. Hopefully the job I’m coming back early for will take up a significant amount of my time, otherwise I may go well out of my mind. Hell, I might even be tempted to take a detour elsewhere. I guess it all depends. I’ll know for sure in a week.

I just hope I haven’t gotten myself into the worst month of my life. At least last year I got the chance to spend New Years with lover boy my boyfriend. It’s highly likely that won’t be happening this year. As long as I get to hang out with someone, however, I should be fine. I haven’t seen my high school friends in forever. That should be a nice turn of events, but even though I still call one of them my best friend, she probably can’t fill the void of love for a prolonged period. Time will tell.

In other news, tomorrow is Wednesday, Christmas Day! Honestly, I’m not really excited. Of course I say that now, prior to getting the gifts. Things could very well change by tomorrow. Somehow I doubt it. I’m so over materialism and superficiality. Early today I went through my “safe boxes” and found my diary entries from my freshman year of high school. Thank goodness I never wrote those online. I was absolutely boy crazy. Of course, it was mostly about a single boy, but still. I’m glad that phase of my personality has passed.

I was looking at one particular entry, dated January 11th, 2002, and I was writing about breaking up with my first boyfriend of the time. What’s so eerie about that date is that it nearly repeated itself earlier this year. Sure, my break up actually occurred weeks before, well before Christmas (and now that I think about it, every time I did break up with a guy, it was in the winter) but it’s just strange how we live life in patterns. I’m not saying it’s likely to happen again - after all, that’s what the past is for - to gain insight and improve, but it’s interesting nonetheless.

Gosh, those old entries are a real laugh. I’m so glad I got over that whole shy thing. There are certainly still remnants of that part of my personality, but it doesn’t own me the way it used to. I was so caged. I didn’t allow myself nearly anything. And I have the sneaking suspicion that I could have been as well liked if I were more like my roommate was at the time. Everyone knew who she was, and a part of me always wanted a piece of that. But then again, everything happens for a reason, and I might have been somewhere entirely different today. In any case, as much of my life as I’d like to do over, I’m pretty content with where I am. That’s all for now!

Seasons Greetings everyone! I hope that everyone has enjoyed a most restful Thanksgiving this past week, for those of us that celebrate it. Mine wasn’t particularly eventful. I spent most of the time playing Super Mario Galaxy (an excellent game I might add), helping Mom out with an array of foods, including macaroni and cheese, yams, and mashed potatoes, or sleeping the day away, noisy cousins frolicking in the background.

While it was definitely a relaxing break, I find myself cursing it all the while. Having to step out of school always brings me out of sync with things, and sometimes I wish they would just tack everything onto Winter Break instead of interrupting the flow. Yet at the same time, these sort of breaks never come soon enough beforehand. Just before break I had two major essays due (one of which I’m worried my professor hasn’t received yet) and after pulling two back-to-back all-nighters, I was pretty much ecstatic to take some time off.

Ah the lack of sleep. I always seem to forget the maddening affects it has on my psyche, how it forces me to be ultra-sensitive to every little thing. At a younger age I was able to handle late nights without much affects to my personality, but as I’ve progressed through college, I realize that this is no longer the case. That’s a story I’ve tired of telling for now, however.

As we return from break, homework tends to slow down at this point, so this week should be really nice and chill for me. I certainly hope so, as I’m not really ready to be back here again. Here’s to another three (four if you count finals) weeks of school!