Melancholy
I thought this summer would be a lot easier, happier, and meaningful this year, but the positivity and joy I had in the beginning is quickly waning to nothing. The few bursts of happiness I experience are reserved for the moments I spend with my boyfriend, but nowadays that’s only after he so patiently pries me out of increasingly frequent emotional slumps. I attribute them to my job, to being away from home, to the limited correspondence I have with my sister, and the negative emotional influence she has on my mother (and therefore me), my health, the time of the month, hunger, and above all, boredom, but honestly I don’t know what the hell it is. I tried to ignore it for a while by indulging in my more artistic hobbies, but I keep getting a barrage of negativity in that area as well, both spoken and unspoken, external and internal. I seem to have momentarily lost my spark. I’ve never been the type to give up though, so I’m still trying. Maybe I’m just dramatizing this moment of acute sadness and loneliness because it’s the only means I have to deal with it right now. In realizing that, I feel a little better already.
brit.
Tuesday, June 24th, 2008 at 9:52 AM
I hope you get over this slump because we all have those times where things just seem so difficult. Hopefully, your next post will be more positive! Take care. :) <3
Shannon
Tuesday, June 24th, 2008 at 2:27 PM
I know exactly how you feel and I’ve been feeling the same way unfortunately. One would think that summer would brighten things up a bit, but it hasn’t, at least not for me. I do hope that you feel better soon, though. These phases we go through are only temporary, even if they keep coming back over periods of time.